Overcoming Holiday Depression

If you ask most people, "What is the happiest time of the year?" many would immediately respond, "The Holidays," that time of year from Thanksgiving through Christmas and New Year's. In fact, the phrase, "Happy Holidays," found frequently on Christmas cards and seen and heard as part of media advertising around the Christmas season, reflects the commonly-held notion that the holidays are happy.      Years of experience at The Rice Lewis Clinic have demonstrated to us that, for many people, the holidays are among the most depressing of times. As one frantic housewife put it, "Why don't we just cancel the whole holiday season! When I was a child, I looked forward to this time of the year more than any other. How I dread it now, though, because I almost always get depressed."      Perhaps you can relate to holiday depression or you may have relatives or friends for whom the phrase, "Happy Holidays," sounds almost like a cruel attempt at humor. If so, I want to offer you some insight into the reasons for the holiday blues and some suggestions on ways to overcome them so that this season you can truly experience "happy holidays."      "Why do I get depressed every year around Christmas?" Listed below are a number of significant causes of holiday depression. 1) Idealized past memories. Many people become depressed during the holidays because their memories of past holiday seasons include only the good things thathappened. 2) Unfulfilled expectations 3) False identification - Television shows and advertising, are often responsible for producing false identification. Family stresses and strains can be switched in the twinkling of an eye to scenes of happy family members seen exchanging presents, shopping, partying, and otherwise enjoying holidays with one another in glorified ways that are seldom really experienced. 4) Overexertion. One of the factors most contributing to holiday depression is the pace of living necessary to keep up with a frantic holiday schedule. 5) Previous holiday losses. Holiday depression often is related to previously experienced losses and a heightened awareness of these. Failue to grieve or work through those losses will cause us to focus on the loss and the result is holiday depression. 6) Added financial pressures. The financial pressure of the season can wreak havoc with family budgets and produce anxiety, depression, and family arguments. 7) Feelings of loneliness.      As we have seen, many factors contribute to holiday depression. Some are related to present pressures, others to past events. However, no matter what may be triggering your holiday depression, it is possible for you to experience happy holidays. The following suggestions and insights, if applied, can lead to a truly happy holiday season. Try to accurately and realistically asses your past holiday experiences. However, don't look at them as being worse than they were, and don't try to rate them, either. Once we gain insight into our tendency to idealize past holiday seasons, we are less likely to be depressed during present or future holidays. Bundle up all your expectations of the holidays and give them to God. The essence of Christmas is receiving a gift that we did not earn or deserve. Rather than focusing on what we do not receive or gain or what we cannot do in the holidays, we should make those special season a time of thanksgiving and gratitude for what we have received and are still receiving. Beware of buying the false images of television programming and advertising. Prioritize your holiday schedule. Ask yourself, "what is important?" Don't be afraid to say no. Take good care of yourself by getting proper rest, food, and exercise. Deal with holiday-related losses, remembering that some losses cannot be helped. Those should be committed to the Lord. If you have never allowed yourself to truly grieve over the death of a loved one or of a marriage that ended around the Christmas season, it is important to complete the grieving process. Keep things in financial perspective. Develop a reasonable plan and stick with it. Don't try to prove your self worth or to buy other people's love by giving extravagant gifts. Plan to avoid the materialistic trap of the season. Deal with loneliness directly. Remember that everyone has three basic needs: 1) a proper self perspective, 2) a close relationship with God, and 3) a close relationship with other people. Beware of any medical causes of depression that may be present in your life. Since each of us is composed of body, mind, and spirit, we should remember that all of these factors are related. Sometimes depression is medical in origin. The pressure of the holiday season can add to medically induced depression and should be treated. During devotional times, look up, memorize, and meditate on verses appropriate to the season.      If you already have trusted Christ, purpose to make the holidays a time of personal, spiritual and emotional growth. Develop a realistic self-appraisal based on your position in Christ. Purpose to grow in your relationship with God. Continue to grow in grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. Finally, develop your relationships with your spouse, children, parents, and close persona friends this season. Allow yourself to go ahead and enjoy the holidays, not with unrealistic expectations, but from the reality of having already receiving the Gift that Christmas is all about.