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Question: My 13 year old son is constantly forgetting his homework, his lunch, or his trombone for school. I have to leave work to go home and retrieve them for him. Also, every morning is a battle getting him up. He often misses the school bus, which means I have to take him to school then I'm late for work. His grades are average and he has many friends, so I don't want to be too hard on him, but I'm worried and angry. What do I do? Answer: Stop rescuing him! He is not taking responsibility for his life, you are. First, buy him an alarm clock and let him be responsible for getting himself up. If he misses the bus, he has to figure out how to get to school, for example, public transportation. Missing school isn't an option. Second, when he forgets to take certain items to school, let him deal with the natural consequences. You are not required to bail him out. In fact, your task as a parent with purpose who loves her child is to allow these circumstances to mature him. Otherwise, he will grow into adulthood expecting others to fix his problems. Rather than taking responsibility for his own life, he will likely blame his wife, his boss, and others when he makes mistakes. Answered by: Joan Hemingway, M.S.W. |